The Super Police Department

I wrote this as part of a Writing Prompt found on Reddit. The prompt was titled: "Waiting for superman" in this universe isn't just a song, 911 is a superhero on demand service

The following is my submission:

    Ring. Ring.
    “911. What is your emergency?”
    “The bitch hit me!”
    “Who hit you, sir?
    “My wife. She’s drunk again. And when she gets drunk, she gets mean.”
    “What’s your name and address, sir?” The emergency operator sighed as she took down all the necessary information for dispatch. It seemed that crime had gone up rather than down since the implementation of the SPD. Everyone wanted to meet the new superheroes, and no one, well, almost no one had real emergencies. Her last call was a cat stuck in a tree. Really? A cat in a tree? It was bad enough that the city had already been turned into a comic book without adding cheesy, unoriginal clichés to the mix. And then there were these new cops. They had their superpowers thrust upon them. Just a few months ago, they were just your average guys. Construction workers, cab drivers, pizza makers… Nothing special. They were just in the right place at the right time, and now they all thought they were hot shit. Just a bunch of fanboys living out their dreams.
    At least I don’t have to patrol the streets with these jag-offs, she thought.
    “I heard that, Marie!”
    “Screw you, Mindbender!” she shouted. She didn’t even care anymore that Phil could read her mind. At least now he knew she wasn’t lying when she said she wasn’t interested in going on a date with him. She had fought him off for six months before the... what did they call it? The Empowerment? He’d bug her on a daily basis and she’d turned him down again and again. Once he had his powers and looked into her mind, he realized that she was truly disgusted with him and gave up on the spot. At first she felt violated, but quickly stopped caring once he backed off.
    It was her last call and she could finally clock out and go home. She logged off her computer and put the phone on “busy”. She didn’t even look up on her way out of the station. She just waved to whomever tossed her a courteous “G’nite, Marie” and made a bee-line for her twenty year old sedan.
    As she turned onto her street, she saw Greg and Mickey from vice shaking down a local dealer. He was small time and she thought he might even live in her building. The cops recognized Marie as she parked and exited her car, and waved.
    “Hi, Marie,” they said in chorus. These guys used to be alright in her book. They were cops prior to the Empowerment, and she’d worked with them for about a year before that. Now, they just looked goofy in their metallic capes and their swollen egos. Douchebags, she thought.
    “Hey, Sliverfox. Meteor Man.” She frowned, “Dirty Tony.” Dirty Tony smiled weakly and looked down at his shoes. “Keep up the good work, guys.”
    She entered the elevator and pushed the button for her floor. Just as the doors began to close, a hand shot between them and forced them open. Marie sighed. It’s always something.
    “Sorry,” the figure smiled weakly. “I just really wanted to get off the street.” It was her new neighbor, Mike. He began stabbing at the “close” button. She rolled her eyes. “You see, there are cops everywhere. I can’t seem to get away from them.”
     Marie was suddenly interested . “Why…?”
    “You’re not a cop are you?” Mike gave her a nervous once over but didn’t wait for a reply. “Nah, couldn’t be a cop.” He stabbed at the button again and the doors finally closed. Marie thought about telling him that she did indeed work for the police department, she just didn’t put on the uniform, anymore. It’d been a long time since she’d been a beat cop, but she was still on the force. She didn’t have super powers so she’d been shuffled around the department until she landed in the 911 operator’s call center. She was still bitter about that, but not because she hadn’t had powers bestowed upon her, she didn’t want them, but because all non-super cops were slowly relegated to more clerical positions. Anyway, if she told this guy she was a cop, she wouldn’t be able to find out why he needed her NOT to be a cop.
    “Why do you want to get away from them?”
    “They all have capes!” Mike looked at her as if that were a sufficient answer, but he continued explaining anyway. “It’s not fair to the criminals, anymore. I mean, I get it. It’s not supposed to be fair. It’s not like a boxing match or a football game where the competitors are supposed to be evenly matched. Crimes are illegal, justice and good should prevail, yadda yadda yadaa. But this whole super powered cop thing has gotten out of control. This isn’t how it was supposed to happen.”
    “What was supposed to…”
He cut her off again. “Everyone in that warehouse explosion, the Empowerment, was supposed to get their powers, sure. But they weren’t all supposed to become cops. Hell, I thought NONE of them would become cops. There’s no need for anonymity when you’re wearing a cape AND a badge. No, those guys were supposed to wear masks like the rest of us.”
    “You have super pow…”
    “I mean, the good guys were supposed to become vigilantes, the bad guys were supposed to go on crime sprees.” He wasn’t even looking at her anymore. He was talking to himself as he watched the floors tick by. Five, six, seven.
    “Supposed to?”
    “Human nature.” He shook his head. “Human nature makes people do bad things, but society and laws keep us, THEM, keeps them in check.”
Marie maybe bitter now, but she was generally a good person and she believed that people were generally good, too. That’s why she went into the force in the first place. “So these people were sup…”
    “Yeah, yeah. People are mean. They’re dicks, really. They were supposed to turn this town upside down. I don’t know what went wrong. The warehouse exploded, the serum infected the entire east side docks and all these people started being good people and became cops.” He was glossy eyed now and practically unaware of her presence anymore. “I tested it on mice and chimps. They all became dicks. What went wrong. Did I…” he trailed of, mumbling.
     Marie’s jaw dropped. “You did this?!” She shouted.
    “What? I… what?” He turned to her, suddenly aware of her presence again. “No, no. You don’t understand.”
    Marie looked at him, waiting for him to follow that up with some explanation. He had none. He just stared back at her. The floors ticked by. Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen. She punched the stop button, and the elevator slammed to a halt between fifteen and sixteen. He blinked at her.
    “You son of a bitch!” She shouted. He recoiled. "I work dispatch because of you. I’m not a beat cop anymore! I take calls from fanboys who have their Frisbees stuck on the roof just so they can get a glimpse of Lizard Larry! Lizard Larry isn’t even a good superhero name! That guy used to sell me overcooked bacon at Denny’s!”
    “Y… You’re a cop?”
    “Barely!” Marie was seething. She dropped her voice to a hiss and grabbed him by his shirt.   “Mike, you’re going to fix this.”
    “I can’t. I tried. But I can’t. The lab…”
    “Then give me power! No, wait,” she didn’t want power. She hated people with powers. “What the hell are you going to do about this?”
    “Nothing,” Mike stammered. “I mean, I can’t. My lab blew up. It was in the warehouse.”
    “Then I’m going to arrest you take you in. If I have to be stuck with these stupid supercops, I’m at least going to…” Then the wind went out of her sails. She released Mike and punched the elevator’s sixteen button. The elevator moved for a couple of seconds and the doors opened onto their floor.
    Marie decided she was fine with being a call center cop. The passion for old fashioned crime fighting with a badge and gun had left her. Even if she could go back to being a beat cop, she couldn’t compete with the cops of the SPD. She couldn’t have powers and didn’t want them if she could.
    They stepped off the elevator, Mike a few slow steps behind her. She turned to him. He waited expectantly.
    “I’m a call center cop. This city is a comic book. It’s all your fault.”
    Mike swallowed. Marie shook her head, reeled back, and punched him in the nose. Mike staggered backwards against the closed elevator doors, his hand flying up protectively.
    “Go home, Mike,” she shook her head and turned away from him. “And keep the noise down. I can always hear your porn through our stupid walls.”